IM me!
by The Obsidian Angel
Summary: The daughters have some AOL fun in this chaotic sugar induced parody. Test your capacity to hold goofiness here!
1. Serenas Compu

**If you love the Stanton and Serena pairing and you cant take a joke, it's prolly not really a good idea to read this story. So I advise you leave. Now. Before you're like… scarred forever or something.**

Serena yawned in boredom as she spun around in her chair. She had to do _something_. Pulling herself to her computer, she seized the mouse and signed on to AOL.  
Welcome! The robotic male voice greeted her.  
"Come on! You've got mail! You've got mail! You've got… damn…" She cursed at the empty mailbox. Then suddenly the IM sound rang.

HotChica22 – Hola, chica!  
SexyDarkGoddess – Wassup?  
HotChica22 – Nothin much. Just had sex with your brother.  
SexyDarkGoddess – … and I would want to know this, why?  
HotChica22 – Whateverz. Is Stanton there yet?  
SexyDarkGoddess – No. I wonder what's taking him so long.  
HotChica22 – Evil board meetings?  
SexyDarkGoddess – Prolly  
HotChica22 – Wanna RPG?  
SexyDarkGoddess – Sure  
HotChica22 – (Jimena walks in)  
SexyDarkGoddess – (Stabs Jimena) Mwahahahahaha!  
HotChica22 – HEY! You can't do that!  
SexyDarkGoddess – Just did  
HotChica22 – Hey, I gotta TTYL! Collin just came back  
SexyDarkGoddess – Ugh…  
**HotChica22 just signed off at 3:00**

The IM sound rang again and Vanessa popped up.

2Gorjus4U – Serena!  
SexyDarkGoddess – You spelled gorgeous wrong, babe.  
2Gorjus4U – I spelled _what_ wrong?  
SexyDarkGoddess – Nothin… Whatcha doin?  
2Gorjus4U – Just chillin, spillin, nevah killin. Always willin to drop a few lines.

SexyDarkGoddess - … okaaaaaaaay. Did you find those evil dudes yet?  
2Gorjus4U – You mean Tymmie and Karyl?  
SexyDarkGoddess – Whateverz.  
2Gorjus4U – Nah. I was with Stanton.  
SexyDarkGoddess – WHAT?  
2Gorjus4U – Nuttin  
SexyDarkGoddess – Don't make me come over there.  
2Gorjus4U – I gotta go!  
SexyDarkGoddess – WAIT!**  
2Gorjus4U just signed off at 3:06**

"Damn…"

Another IM sound.  
ILikeTaffyApplez – Sup?  
SexyDarkGoddess – …  
ILikeTaffyApplez – Do I have to?  
SexyDarkGoddess – …  
**ILikeTaffyApplez just signed off at 3:08  
SerenasBitch has just signed on.**  
SerenasBitch – Happy?  
SexyDarkGoddess – Of course. :) Now what's up with you and Vanessa?  
SerenasBitch – Me and Vanessa? What makes you say that?  
SexyDarkGoddess – Don't play with me, man! She said you were 2gether!  
SexyDarkGoddess – Stanton?  
**SerenasBitch is Away**  
SexyDarkGoddess – STANTON! SHE SAID YOU WERE TOGETHER! NOW IS THIS TRUE OR NOT?  
SerenasBitch – Neeeeeeevah.  
SexyDarkGoddess – THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME!  
SerenasBitch – I gotta go… eat a taffy apple or somthin  
SexyDarkGoddess – STANTON!  
**SerenasBitch just signed off at 3:12**  
SexyDarkGoddess – ARGH!  
**SerenasBitch is no longer signed on.**

Another IM.  
CattyO – Wassup, Gee?

SexyDarkGoddess – It's G

CattyO – Wassup, G?  
SexyDarkGoddess – I dunno. I think Stanton's cheating on me.  
CattyO – IT WASN'T ME! I DON'T KNOW HOW MY BRA GOT IN HIS CAR! I SWEAR!  
SexyDarkGoddess – I wasn't accusing you!  
CattyO – O  
SexyDarkGoddess – But now that I think about it  
CattyO – I gotta go fuck Stanton!  
CattyO – I mean Keelie!  
SexyDarkGoddess –KYLE!  
CattyO - WHateva  
**CattyO just signed off at 3:20**

IM  
CluelessBoyfriend – Hey, Serena!  
SexyDarkGoddess – Hey Michael  
CluelessBoyfriend - And I don't know WHY I'm talking to you  
SexyDarkGoddess – Okay.  
**CluelessBoyfriend just signed off at 3:22**  
**  
EvillerthanStanton just signed on.**  
EvillerthanStanton –MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
SexyDarkGoddess – Hey Lambert

SextDarkGoddess – Eviller?  
EvillerthanStanton – Shut up! I have just inhabited Tianna's body! Now I can get close to Stanton!  
EvillerthanStanton – Really!  
EvilerthanStanton – I'm not playing!  
EvillerthanStanton – No shit!  
SexyDarkGoddess – Well that's stupid cuz Tianna cant get close to him anywayz! SO HA!  
EvillerthanStanton – THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
**EvillerthanStanton just signed off at 3:29**  
"Dayum!"

Don't take this seriously. Its just a random thing I wrote in drama class the other day when I was extremely bored. Vanessa's chappy is next.


	2. Vanessa's Compu

Vanessa ran her hands rapidly over the keyboard as she stared into the bright Microsoft Word page. The metal paperclip flashed her an amicable smile. Exactly how a paperclip _could_ smile, she had no idea. Beaming, she read everything that she had typed over the pass three hours.

Serena Gets Pregnant with a Baby Named Angelo by 2Gorjus4U 

Once upon a time there was a Serena. Serena was happy. Happy Serena was. Serena was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very happy.

Vanessa furrowed her eyebrows. Something was missing. _Of course! _She snapped her fingers and added a few dozen more "very"s to the mix. _Perfect!_

The IM sound rang.

IlikeTaffyApplez – Vanessa!

2Gorjus4U – Stanton!

IlikeTaffyApplez – Vanessa!

2Gorjus4U – Stanton!

IlikeTaffyApplez – Stop it.

2Gorjus4U –…

IlikeTaffyApplez – Do I have to?

2Gorjus4U - …

IlikeTaffyApplez – Fine

**IlikeTaffyApplez has just signed off**

**NessasHoe has just signed on**

2Gorjus4U – Nessa's _hoe_?

NessasHoe- What?

2Gorjus4U - Nothing I guess. That's better Hey, I think Serena knows.

NessasHoe- About who?

2Gorjus4U – About your affair.

NessasHoe- With who?

2Gorjus4U – Stanton!

NessasHoe- Which one?

2Gorjus4U – O.O WHAT?

NessasBitch - Nothin…

2Gorjus4U – Between us.

NessasHoe- Oh. Well, duh, Nessa. So what are you going to do?

2Gorjus4U – ME? What about you?

NessasHoe- I'm hot, evil, and I'm good in bed. What's your excuse?

2Gorjus4U – I'm hot!

NessasHoe- And?

2Gorjus4U – I got nothing. Man! This isn't fair!

NessasHoe- Hey, it's not my fault I'm pretty fly for a white guy.

2Gorjus4U – Huh?

NessasHoe- Nothing.

NessasHoe- Oooooooooh! Tianna's on! Damn that bitch is sexy!

2Gorjus4U – WHAT? Since when do you fuck with Tianna like that?

NessasHoe- Since book 12.

2Gorjus4U – I thought she was dead!

NessasHoe- How do I look?

2Gorjus4U – I dunno, dumbass. I'd have to see you first!

NessasHoe- I'm out.

2Gorjus4U – STANTON!

**NessasHoe has just signed off.**

2Gorjus4U – YO MAMA!

**NessasHoe is no longer signed on.**

Vanessa groaned and started to type again before adding another "very".

_Serena said hi Stanton_

_Stanton said wazzup_

_She said lets make out_

_He said koo_

_They made out_

_Serena had a baby_

_His name was Angelo_

Vanessa snickered. Bet they didn't see _that _coming.

Another IM.

EvillerthanStanton – Hey!

2Gorjus4U – Who dis be?

EvillerthanStanton- Tianna… mwahahahahahahaha!

2Gorjus4U – Dude. No you're not. You're… YOU'RE… WHO ARE YOU?

EvillerthanStanton- Lambert.

2Gorjus4U – Kewl. Whatcha doin?

EvillerthanStanton- Talkin to Stanton (evil smile)

2Gorjus4U – Dude, this is AOL.

EvillerthanStanton- Tlkn 2 Stanton :)

EvillerthanStanton- Mah wizzle

EvillerthanStanton- He thinks I'm Tianna

EvillerthanStanton- Mwahahahahahahaha!

EvillerthanStanton- I think he likes me. See?

EvillerthanStanton- **TiannasLoveSlave - Damn you're fine. You're finer than the finest piece of ham.**

EvillerthanStanton- **TiannasLoveSlave- Wait! I didn't mean that. You're finer than…**

EvillerthanStanton- **TiannasLoveSlave- You know what I mean…**

2Gorjus4U – Whateverz…

SexyDarkGoddess just signed in 

SexyDarkGoddess – YOU!

2Gorjus4U – Me?

SexyDarkGoddess – Yes, you! Where's Stanton?

2Gorjus4U – Flirting with Lambert

SexyDarkGoddess – WHAT?

2Gorjus4U – Well, he thinks it's Tianna but it's actually Lambert in disguise.

SexyDarkGoddess – Oh…

2Gorjus4U – I'm hella bored.

SexyDarkGoddess – Me too. What u doin?

2Gorjus4U – Writing fanfiction

SexyDarkGoddess – Kewl. What about?

2Gorjus4U – DOTM. Us.

SexyDarkGoddess – Whatevaz… I'm tired of reading that shit. Damn rumors. HEY! Are you writing another steamy sex scene with me and Stanton?

2Gorjus4U – Not this time.

SexyDarkGoddess – Did you start one of those cheesy fics about how we first got together?

2Gorjus4U – Nuh uh.

SexyDarkGoddess – Did you send me forward in time or some shit?

2Gorjus4U – Interesting concept, but no.

SexyDarkGoddess – Hey

SexyDarkGoddess – ARE YOU MAKING ME PREGNANT WOMAN?

SexyDarkGoddess – Vanessa?

SexyDarkGoddess – NESSA!

2Gorjus4U – YO MAMA!

Vanessa clicked the "ignore" button on the window and pressed "X". That was close… She posted her fanfic during the next three minutes when suddenly the IM sound rang.

HerBitchfullness – The bitch is back!

2Gorjus4U – Hey Morgan

HerBitchfullness – Sup?

2Gorjus4U- Waiting for Stanton to stop talking to Lambert/ Tianna

HerBitchfullness – That tramp?

2Gorjus4U – Yep… why?

HerBitchfullness – Oh, nothing. It's just that…

HerBitchfullness – I was with Stanton last night.

2Gorjus4U – I think everyone was…

HerBitchfullness – Even Serena?

2Gorjus4U – Especially Serena

HerBitchfullness – Ew! Germs!

2Gorjus4U – Yo mama.

HerBitchfullness – Well, anyway, I gotta go… get tanned or something. L8rz!

**HerBitchfullness has just signed off.**

**CattyO has just signed on**

CattyO – NESSA!

2Gorjus4U – Catty! I just posted my fanfic! Wanna read it?

CattyO – Er…

2Gorjus4U – I'll take that as a yes! Here's the link : – Um… okay. 

2Gorjus4U – Well?

2Gorjus4U – WELL?

CattyO – It's er, okay. It's better than the one about me and Jimena. I still have nightmares… Why did you do that anyway?

2Gorjus4U – Ice Cream… I get confused…so you don't like it?

CattyO – Yeah

2Gorjus4U – REALLY?

CattyO – No.

2Gorjus4U - : - (

CattyO – It's :.(

2Gorjus4U – ""

CattyO – Also wrong.

2Gorjus4U - (8(l)

CattyO – I don't know _WHAT _that was.

2Gorjus4U – Yo goddamn mama

CattyO – Ok… I'm gonna go now…

Vanessa slammed her fist onto the keyboard. They would pay. They'd give her credit for how talented she was. _Lessee…_


	3. Lambert's Compu

Lambert sat on the pearl sofa and scratched at Tianna's ass before turning back to his laptop. This was logical of course because he was in Tianna's body. And having one hell of a good time too! He grinned at the incandescent computer screen and struggled to recollect his intentions. Find Tianna's body. Check. Inhabit it. Check. Check for boobs. Check. Get Stanton's screen name. Check. Instant Message Stanton. Check. OBLITERATE HIM! … not so much. The guy just kept flirting with him. His words! They were so wise and-

TiannasLoveSlave- HOT! You're hotter than the hottest slab of…

TiannasLoveSlave- I MEAN, YOU'RE HOT! So will you go out with me?

Lambert who had never been courted by a man before was rather disturbed to say the least.

EvillerThanStanton- I don't know. I mean, you're really not my type. I mean I like purple and you like blue. I think it was the chicken. You say it was the egg. I have a (beep). You have a (beep).

TiannasLoveSlave- YOU HAVE A WHAT? ARE YOU PLAYIN ME, MAN?

EvillerThanStanton- Well I don't have one at the moment but that's what I was born with.

TiannasLoveSlave- I don't believe this! I just DON'T believe this! Why didn't you tell me?

EvillerThanStanton- Because I knew you'd react like this?

TiannasLoveSlave- ARGH!

TiannasLoveSlave- But you _are_ still hot…

EvillerThanStanton- Enough of this trickery! I will annihilate you!

TiannasLoveSlave- I love it when you talk dirty!

EvillerThanStanton- ARGH!

**AuraHadALittleLambert- has just signed on.**

AuraHadALittleLambertHey, Boo!

EvillerThanStanton- Hey Aura…

AuraHadALittleLambertDid you waste Stanton yet?

EvillerThanStanton- No. I keep trying but he just brings the subject back around to how hot I am.

AuraHadALittleLambertWHAT?

EvillerThanStanton- Long story. So did you put some gas in the car?

AuraHadALittleLambertGas?

EvillerThanStanton- WOMAN, TELL ME YOU DIDN'T FORGET TO PUT SOME DAMN GAS IN THE CAR!

AuraHadALittleLambertI didn't forget to put some damn gas in the car.

EvillerThanStanton- Really?

AuraHadALittleLambertNo…

EvillerThanStanton- ARGH!

AuraHadALittleLambertYou said to tell you that… anyway, I'm gonna go possess that Serena chick's body again. Should be fun!

EvillerThanStanton- You do that.

**AuraHadALittleLambert- has just signed off.**

Lambert started to return to his work when:

BrideoftheAtrox- YOU!

EvillerThanStanton- I PLEAD THE FIFTH!

BrideoftheAtrox- I want my body back!

EvillerThanStanton- I want my body baaack!

BrideoftheAtrox- Mocking doesn't work on here.

EvillerThanStanton- Well you cant have it so MWA HA HA HA HA AH HAMUHOHOHOHOHOWHOWHOWHOWFWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

BrideoftheAtrox- But I have to talk to Stanton!

EvillerThanStanton- I already have! We have a date for tonight! 8:00! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BrideoftheAtrox- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**You have just been invited to the chat room: I Hate that Damn Lamb**

Lambert cocked an eyebrow. _I hate that damn Lamb? What damn lamb? I like lamb- chops. They taste good. _He accepted and the chat room screen appeared.

**People in the room, I Hate That Damn Lamb:**

**BrideoftheAtrox**

**TiannasLoveSlave**

**EvillerthanStanton**

TiannasLoveSlave- Who are you and what's up with the room name?

BrideoftheAtrox- It's supposed to be Lambert. Stupid name box cut me off. And I'm Tianna!

TiannasLoveSlave- Hahaha. No, you're not. But if it's a good time you're looking for, I'm always available! YOU HAVE TO BE HOT THOUGH!

BrideoftheAtrox- I AM Tianna!

TiannasLoveSlave- And what does _Tianna_ have to say about this?

EvillerthanStanton- Er… I'm TOTALLY Tianna!

BrideoftheAtrox- HES LAMBERT! RIGHT, LAMBERT?

EvillerthanStanton- Yes!

EvillerthanStanton- No!

EvillerthanStanton- I mean not that Lambert's not sexy because he is! All the hot girlies love Lambert!

TiannasLoveSlave- Definitely Lambert. Man you suck.

BrideoftheAtrox- Let's kill him.

TiannasLoveSlave- Okay.

EvillerthanStanton- WAIT YOU INSOLENT FOOLS! ITS NOT OVER YET! AURA IS ON HER WAY TO possess Serena!

TiannasLoveSlave- Serena Williams? I whipped that ass in tennis yesterday…

EvillerthanStanton- KILLINGSWORTH!

TiannasLoveSlave- Oh, Serena

TiannasLoveSlave- SERENA

TiannasLoveSlave- SERENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

TIannasLoveSlave- So Tianna, the real one, what are you doing tomorrow?

BrideoftheAtrox- We have to save Serena, YOU JERK!

TiannasLoveSlave- Aw man… do we have to? If I sit through another cello solo, I'll explode.

TiannasLoveSlave- I mean SERENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

BrideoftheAtrox- Get ready!

TiannasLoveSlave- Right!

TiannasLoveSlave has left the room.

EvillerthanStanton- DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

BrideoftheAtrox- STOP! THAT'S ANNOYING!

OperationSaveSerena: I'm ready!

BrideoftheAtrox- I MEANT GET READY AND GO TO SERENA'S HOUSE!

OperationSaveSerena- … oh.

**OperationSaveSerena has left the room.**

**BrideoftheAtrox has left the room.**

**EvillerthanStanton is alone the pathetic lonely jerk.**

EvillerthanStanton- WHAT AOL? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!

**EvillerthanStanton is talking to himself.**

Lambert cursed and exited the room before taking a look at the new features on AOL. Hmm… a computerized robot, ZolaonAol? Knows everything? Perfect! This Zola could tell him where to find Stanton.

EvillerthanStanton- Do you really know everything, woman?  
ZolaOnAOL 5:04 PM: I know that which is true, believable and justified.  
EvillerthanStanton- Whatever. Just tell me where Stanton is  
ZolaOnAOL 5:04 PM: Some specific location?  
EvillerthanStanton- Isn't that what I said?  
ZolaOnAOL 5:04 PM: Suppose I said yes.  
EvillerthanStanton- 5:06 PM: WHERES STANTON?  
ZolaOnAOL 5:06 PM: Where STANTON is hard to find.  
EvillerthanStanton- ARGH! I HATE YOU!  
ZolaOnAOL 5:06 PM: What do you have against robots?  
EvillerthanStanton- They're... They'll never be hot! Like me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
ZolaOnAOL 5:07 PM: Try saying that with more or less context. Are you free?

Lambert rolled his eyes and left the IM box. Stupid robots toying with him…

HotChica22- What it is, yo? Wassup?

EvillerthanStanton- What? I er… don't speak ebonics…

HotChica22- Lame… so I heard you were tryna hurt my girl!

EvillerthanStanton- I am! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HotChica22- Whateva. Ima whup yo natural white ass!

EvillerthanStanton- BRING IT ON!

Lambert whooped and did a bring it on split, impaling his hip on the corner of a table. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

EvillerthanStanton- Help! Pain!

HotChica22- You a pussy ass bitch.

EvillerthanStanton- Please! The profanity is killing me!

HotChica22- We still on that?

EvillerthanStanton- What?

HotChica22- See you tonight, mofo!

EvillerthanStanton- BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

HotChica22- …

HotChica22 has just signed off.

EvillerthanStanton- Stupid gangsters…

HotChica22 is no longer signed on.

SerenasRoomisKewl- Sup?

EvillerthanStanton- What it is, yo? Wassup?

SerenasRoomisKewl- …

SerenasRoomisKewl- LOL! LMFAO!

EvillerthanStanton- Argh… well, who is this?

SerenasRoomisKewl- Stanton. I'm in Serena's room. It's kewl.

SerenaRoomisKewl- She has Lava Lamps and pictures of me and CDs and pictures of me and dildos and pictures of me!

EvillerthanStanton- I thought you were supposed to be protecting her.

SerenasRoomisKewl- She's not here.

EvillerthanStanton- So shouldn't you be looking for her?

SerenaRoomisKewl- You're just jealous of my totally cool and awesome room.

EvillerthanStanton- Its Serena's room.

SerenasRoomisKewl- Look at it this way. If Serena's gone, I can totally have her room! I'd make a good Serena. I'm sexy enough!

EvillerthanStanton- You're disturbed.

SerenaRoomisKewl- I know…

* * *

I** know I know! It wasn't as good but it'll pick up, I PWOMISE! Just been having a bad week.**

**The Zola AOL thing was for real on my part cuz I actually entered the stuff in to see what she would say**

**Make sure you go to my authors page and use the link to my DOTM Dating Game! Its kinda goofy…**


	4. Stantons Compu

"I bet you want the goodies. Bet you thought about em. Lalalalalala. Lookin for the goodies keep on lookin cuz they stay in the jar!" Stanton danced in front of Serena's dresser mirror and put a black bra up to his chest. He was so damn _sexy_! He turned back to the computer screen as he had been downloading music for the pass hour now. He scanned Serena's room. It was large, cozy, cute, and in the words of Paris Hilton, it was _hot_. He dropped the bra and ran back over to the computer to see what else he could download when the door suddenly opened.

"You!" a voice exclaimed.

"Dude!" Stanton rose from his seat to see Collin standing in the doorway. "I thought you were_ like_ down at the beach_ like_ scoping out chicks and whatnot"

"Are you mocking me, man?"

"Yes"

Collin started to turn red.

"Whoa dude!"

"I thought you were supposed to be saving my sister!"

Stanton ran his fingers over the scarlet walls. "You're sister's room is _SU _kewl"

Collin raised an eyebrow.

"Come inside Collin". Stanton gestured for him to enter. "Don't be afraid!"

"Er… I don't know. Serena never lets me in…"

"Well she's not here is she?" Stanton smirked.

"I guess", he lifted one foot, put it on Serena's soft carpet, and sighed. "Whew…"

"MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Stanton cackled. "THE ROOM HAS YOU!"

* * *

"Is it worth it? Let me work it! I put my thang down flip it and reverse it! Its yer fermaneppavanette!" Collin and Stanton rang in unison.

About two hours had passed now in which they had both used up all of Serena's computer memory on song downloads and apparently all of the alcohol in the fridge.

"Don't I look like a Halle Berry poster!"

"NO DUDE!" Stanton laughed and fell back onto Serena's mattress.

"Dude you totally fucked her mattress up!"

"This isn't the first time"

WHAT?"

"Nothing…" he turned to the computer. "I'm gonna see who else is on". He spotted his new personal favorite. Oh. Fucking. Yeah. He looked at Collin suspiciously before typing the screenname "Hotchica22" into the IM box.

MeStanton- Wassup shorty? Can I hit that?

HotChica22- No. Go away, Stanton.

MeStanton- I'm not Stanton.

HotChica22- Right.

HotChica22- Well, I'm not playin my home girl like that so you best be on your way.

MeStanton- Jimena. Jimenaaaaaaaaaa. You remind me of the West Side Story.

HotChica22- That was Maria.

MeStanton- Oh.

MeStanton- Your name fucking sucks. Did ur mama name you that?

HotChica22- So that's what we on now?

MeStanton- Yeah, that's what we're on, bitch! Why can't you just be like everyone else?

HotChica22- Cuz I can at least trust my boyfriend. That's why!

MeStanton- I guess that's why he's over here right now.

HotChica22- WHAT?

MeStanton- Yep. We've been getting drunk and singin for the pass hours or so… Wanna talk to him?

HotChica22- YEAH!

MeStanton- Okay.

"Yo, Collin!"

Collin stumbled over to the computer, falling apart with laughter for no obvious reason.

MeStanton- fjahgaoighaoefhojefhiojefaoihjfaifjhaioefj :) dsfdjpgjpadfjgpoadfgpo :) asdjaiodfdiert

MeStanton- :)

HotChica22- THAT WAS NOT COLLIN!

MeStanton- Was so.

HotChica22- YOU FUCKING WHORE!

MeStanton- I don't do guys.

MeStanton- On Tuesdays.

HotChica22- It's Wednesday.

MeStanton- …... meheheheheheheh.

HotChica22- I'M COMING OVER THERE!

MeStanton- I knew you couldn't resist me!

**HotChica22 has just signed off.**

**CattyO has just signed on.**

CattyO- HI BOO!

MeStanton- Hey! Are you coming over? I'm having an orgy!

CattyO- Won't Serena find out?

MeStanton- Nah. She's out getting possessed.

CattyO- That sounds er… dangerous.

MeStanton- Very dangerous.

CattyO- Could she die?

MeStanton- There's a good chance. Why are you betting on it? I only got a dollar.

MeStanton- Maybe two

CattyO- YOUR SICK!

MeStanton- I'll raise that three!

CattyO- STANTON!

MeStanton- And a Yugioh card!

**CattyO has just signed off.**

**SexyDarkGoddess has just signed on.**

SexyDarkGoddess- STANTON!

MeStanton- is aqway

"DAMN!"

MeStanton- is awya

"DAYUM!"

MeStanton- is away

SexyDarkGoddess- Stanton, I know you're not away.

MeStanton- I'm busy now. Can we talk later?

SexyDarkGoddess- YOU DON'T LOVE ME!

MeStanton- Damn straight!

MeStanton- I mean of course I do!

MeStanton- But

SexyDarkGoddess- REALLY? THEN YOU CAN LISTEN TO ALL MY PROBLEMS?

MeStanton: YOU JUST TOLD ME ALL YOUR PROBLEMS AN HOUR AGO!

SexyDarkGoddess- Well if you don't want to know just say so.

MeStanton- I don't want to know.

SexyDarkGoddess- You're just saying that.

MeStanton- Damn you, woman.

SexyDarkGoddess- Okay first of all I went to the denist today and they said I had a cavity. So I was like A CAVITY? Cuz I've never had a cavity before and I was soooooo pissed.

Stanton groaned and clicked the minimize button on the IM toolbar. "Take that!"

Collin, finally sobering up, walked over to him. "Hey, dude"

"Sup?"

"We didn't…"

"No"

"Who ya talking to?"

"That bi- Serena…"

"Is she okay?"

"Is she _ever_ okay?"

The IM screen popped back up.

SexyDarkGoddess- HELP! I THINK SOMEONES POSESSEDME!

Stanton immediately minimized it.

"Who was that?"

"No one"

"It said SexyDarkGoddess"

"Neeeeeeeeeevah"

"Is Serena in trouble?"

"Why don't you go see"

"I'm not her _boyfriend_!"

"And a good thing too. That would be wrong on so many levels…"

"Why are you beating around the bush?"

"What bush?"

A new IM popped up.

FatalAttraction- STANTON!

MeStanton- HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING MY SCREENNAME?

FatalAttraction- The author told me.

MeStanton- That asshole…

FatalAttraction- I need to talk to you!

MeStanton- I dun wanna!

FatalAttraction- YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME!

MeStanton- FINE! I'll talk to you. BUT ONLY CUZ UR HOT!

FatalAttraction- I know!

MeStanton- You _are_ still hot right?

FatalAttraction- Yea…

MeStanton- Kewl. C ya 2morrow at 5.

He clicked "X" and typed in "HotChica22"

MeStanton- Hola!

HotChica22- What?

MeStanton- Bailamos! Bueno Noches! Livin la vida loca!

HotChica22- WHAT?

MeStanton- Si…

Thousands of years worth of life and he had never bothered to study simple Spanish…

MeStanton- Gasolina! Lacienga! Taco Bell Grande!

HotChica22- WHAT?

MeStanton- Macarena?

HotChica22- You're ass is mine!

MeStanton- And yours mine!

HotChica22- I'm leaving now!

MeStanton- BRING IT!

HotChica22- Oh, it's already been brought!

MeStanton- This isn't a _dem_ocracy! This is a _cheer_ocracy!

HotChica22- Huh?

MeStanton- Nuttin.

HotChica22- Bye.

MeStanton- _Adios, mamacita_!

HotChica22 has just signed off.

MeStanton- Oh, you're just gonna play me like that?

HotChica22 is no longer signed on.

Collin gave him a dark look. "I saw that"

"So I'm running games on your girl. And?"

"But you can't- I- we-"

"Video tape us?"

"Sure…"

Another IM.

SexyDarkGoddess- MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

MeStanton- That's hot. Where'd you learn to laugh like that?

SexyDarkGoddess- MORTAL FOOL!

MeStanton- Immortal.

SexyDarkGoddess- IMMORTAL FOOL! I AM AURA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

MeStanton- Aura. Babe. Whats up?

SexyDarkGoddess- I thought I would get more of a reaction than that….

MeStanton- Yeah. But that was four books ago when I actually gave a damn.

SexyDarkGoddess- Oh. lol. You two were so cute!

MeStanton- Uh huh…

SexyDarkGoddess- Shapeshifting

MEStanton- Uh huh.

SexyDarkGoddess- Dancing.

MeStanton- Uh huh.

SexyDarkGoddess- You even gave her your cape.

MeStanton: Cape. Yeah that's niCAPE? I GAVE THAT BITCH MY CAPE? ARE YOU KIDDING ME MAN?

SexyDarkGoddess- Nope. And you can't have it back!

MeStanton- WHERE ARE YOU WOMAN?

SexyDarkGoddess- The new internet café downtown.

MEStanton- I'll be there…

"C'mon, Collin", he grabbed the confused blonde and raced out of the room.

Sigh. Im bored obviously. But really hyper. I just went downtown, pretended I was a tourist, and took a bunch of pics with cute dudes lol

Hey! Who wants write a story about Stanton and Jimena? I'm kind of starting to like the idea. It would be such a cute relationship. I think him and Vanessa would be cute too. But him and Serena are still my fave!

Oh and who likes Missy's song! I found it and been lisnin to it all day! Its yer fermaneppavanette!


	5. Cattys Compu

Okay I have obviously been watching a little bit 2 Much SOUTH PARK. But I do think Kyle bitches a lot…

Catty sat in her room, her arms crossed, upset that her mother wouldn't drive her to the orgy. She usually would let her do_ anything_. Catty sighed desolately and turned to her computer. Only one thing to do now. She would chat with that guy…. Now what was his name again? Dammit. She had spent so much time thinking about Stanton that she had forgotten. Wrecking her brain to remember, she created a chatroom and invited screenname DarkSon54.

CattyO- Hi Karl!

DarkSon54- Kyle.

CattyO: Hey! So er… what are you doing.

DarkSon54- Bitching as usual. You?

CattyO- Bored.

DarkSon54- Whatever. I hate living with my roommates. They won't listen to me…

Catty dozed off for about an hour as Kyle went on and on and on and on and on and on until someone else entered the room.

CattysTrick- WAZZUP! WAZZUP! WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

CattyO- STANTON!

CattysTrick- Sup? I thought you were going to Serena's house.

CattyO- Couldn't get a ride.

CattysTrick- Its cool. I had to leave anyway. Me and Collin are at the internet café now looking for Aura! It's KEWL!

DarkSon54- Excuse me, but we were talking. You can't just cut into our conversation like that.

CattysTrick: Is he talking to me?

CattyO- Yup…

CattysTrick; Is he talking to _ME_?

CattyO- Yupperz.

CattysTrick- DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM?

DarkSon54- Nu…

CattysTrick- Available! But not on Tuesdays…

DarkSon54- Ok…

CattyO- WHAT ABOUT ME?

CattysTrick- I guess you can come too. Hey who is this guy anyway?

DarkSon54- I can't entrust that information in you.

CattyO- Kyle.

DarkSon54- CATTY!

CattysTrick- ROTFLMAO! Dude, I heard you were a bitch.

CattyO- Stanton.

CattyTrick- Kyle is a bitch. He's a big fat bitch! Hes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!

DarkSon54- …

CattysTrick- He's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch! Hes a bitch to all the boys and girls!

CattyO- Stanton I'm warning you.

CattysTrick- HES A BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!

CattysTrick- BITCH!

CattysTrick: BIIIIITCH!

CattysTrick- Kyle is a bitch and hes such a dirty bitch!

CattyO- STOP!

CattysTrick- If you talk to people around the world, it might go a little bit something like this:

CattysTrick- Kyle es una perra. Él es una perra gorda grande. Él es la perra más

grande del mundo ancho del conjunto

CattysTrick- Kyle est une chienne. Il est une grande grosse chienne. Il est la plus

grande chienne dans le monde large de totalité

CattysTrick- Kyle ist ein Weibchen. Er ist ein grosses fettes Weibchen. Er ist das

größte Weibchen in der breiten Welt des Ganzen

CattysTrick- Kyle è una femmina. È una femmina grassa grande. È la femmina più

grande nel mondo largo di tutto

CattysTrick- I REALLY MEAN IT! KYLE! IS A BIG FAT FUCKIN BIIIIIITCH!

**DarkSon54 has left the room.**

CattyO- See look what you did!

CattysTrick- Right. Blame the evil, malevolent prince of darkness. He couldn't_ possibly_ do anything right.

CattyO- Damn straight. I'm out anyway. I have to talk to Vanessa.

CattysTrick- Tell her hey for me.

CattyO- I will.

She typed 2Gorjus4U into the IM window.

CattyO- Stanton said stop calling him.

2Gorjus4U- Really?

CattyO- Oh yeah.

2Gorjus4U- But I thought we were getting along so well.

CattyO- Guess not. So what are you doing?

2Gorjus4U- Writing another fanfic.

CattyO- …

CattyO- Maybe I should go

2Gorjus4U- No! Its really good this time! And original too!

CattyO- Nessa!

2Gorjus4U- Its about a new set of daughters!

CattyO- Overdone.

2Gorjus4U- The daughters in a musical?

CattyO- Done.

2Gorjus4U- Wally?

CattyO- Also done.

2Gorjus4U- ARGH! Why can't I be original?

CattyO- Why don't you try something else?

CattyO- And stay as far from pen, paper, and a keyboard as you can manage.

2Gorjus4U- Aw…

CattyO- Why don't you just go back to singing?

2Gorjus4U- Michael kicked me out of the band.

CattyO- Why?

2Gorjus4U- My new lyrics…

CattyO- O… why don't you just use some of Serena's poems. They're good.

2Gorjus4U- But they're all about Stanton

CattyO- So?

2Gorjus4U- I guess… I'm gonna go… do somthin…

**2Gorjus4U has just signed off.**

Catty sighed in boredom and decided to go back to her chatroom.

CattysTrick- Been waiting for you to come back. Im bored and the food sucks here.

CattyO- Whatever. I would be out with Kyle right now had you not made him mad.

CattysTrick- LOL The bitch.

Catty groaned and looked over her buddy list. Who else could she invite? She knew!

**HotChica22 has entered the chatroom.**

HotChica22- Hey, Catty. Who's your trick?

**CattysTrick has left the room**

**Catty&JimenasBoyToy has entered the room.**

HotChica22- Collin?

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Yeah right.

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- It's me!

HotChica22- Who?

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- STANTON!

CattyO- YO! ITS ME CATTY!

HotChica22- Oh. Where are you, Stanton? I'm at Serena's house.

CattyO- LALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Isn't her room kewl?

CattyO- Knock Knock!

HotChica22- Oh yea!

Catty winced as they were both ignoring her. She decided to invite someone else.

ILoveTaffyApplez- SUP!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- HEY! _I _love taffy apples!

CattyO- No, Stanton. You _like _Taffy Apples.

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Does it matter, dammit? Now who the hell are you anyway?

ILoveTaffyApplez- You stole my taffy apple, mother fucker!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- DID NOT!

ILoveTaffyApplez- YOU DID SO! NOW I WANT MY FUCKING TAFFY APPLE BACK FUCKO!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Fucko? Well sorry. I ate it.

ILoveTaffyApplez- YOU WHAT?

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Yup. It was good 2!

ILoveTaffyApplez- IM TELLIN MY MAMA!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- TELL YO MAMA!

ILoveTaffyApplez- Ima kick your ass! You cant just come to Halloween parties and steal peoples Taffy Apples!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- I can and I will again! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ILoveTaffyApplez- (punches BoyToy upside the head)

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- (Gives little ugly kid a monster wedgie)

ILoveTaffyApplez- (Threatens to tell everyone what he saw BoyToy doing at the YMCA yesterday)

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- …

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- (Offers to buy cute little kid a thousand taffy apples if he will just shut the fuck up)

ILoveTaffyApplez- Deal.

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Deal

**ILoveTaffyApplez has left the room.**

CattyO- What was that all about?

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Stay the fuck up out my business.

CattyO- Ok…… hey! Who wants to RP sons of the dark?

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- I call Kyle!

HotChica22- I'll be Berto!

CattyO- I guess I'll be Obie then.

**2Gorjus4U has just entered the room.**

2Gorjus4U- Sup?

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- RP

CattyO- NOOOOOOOOOOO!

CattyO- I mean, who do you want to be Vanessa?

2Gorjus4U- Er… I can be Samuel!

CattyO- Whatever…Obie woke up from his sleep and pulled open the curtains. It was another hot and blistering day in Los Angeles California. He walked into the kitchen.

2Gorjus4U- Samuel ate muffin. It was good. Muffin taste like chicken.

HotChica22- …

HotChica22- Berto walked in and saw Samuel eating the muffin. He took one from a basket and munched on it.

**DarkSon54 has entered the room.**

CattyO- KYLE!

DarkSon54- Catty, I just want to say sorry. I acted like a jerk.

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- Kyle walked in wondering what he could bitch about today. Maybe the heat or his roommates BO. Maybe because the fucking sky was fucking blue. Or maybe about how he never got any because he was a big fat fucking BEEEEOOOOOTCH!

**DarkSon54 has left the room.**

CattyO- STANTON!

**DarkSon54 has entered the room.**

DarkSon54- Man you suck!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- At least I'm not a BIZNITCH!

DarkSon54- That's why I'm fucking your gf right now!

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- WHAT?

CattyO- WHAT?

DarkSon54- Hell yeah! Auras over my place, fucker! Hows that for bitching?

Catty&JimenasBoyToy- YOUR GONNA FUCKIN PAY!

DarkSon54- Catch me if you can!

**DarkSon54 has just signed off.**

**Catty&JimenasBoyToy has just signed off**

HotChica22- Dayum.

CattyO- Men…


End file.
